House Calls a WTF Side Story
by Shadow of the Forgotten
Summary: Shad, the creator of the crazy tournament show W.T.F., is back. Only this time she's making house calls. Come join her as she visits some of your favorite fighters in their own homes, and see what hilariousness ensues.
1. Opening Letter

Disclaimer: I do not own anything/anyone that I use/abuse in this story.

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Hey there W.T.F. fans, Shad here. I know it's been awhile, but what can I say, I've been busy. I had no idea it would be so taxing trying to get a second season, but I'm making progress. They finally agreed to meet with me, isn't that great!

But enough about my problems, you're probably wondering what this letter's for right? Well too bad, that's for me to know and you to keep wondering about. Hah!

Ok, seriously. Now, during my short break on W.T.F. (and between all my court dates) I got a little bored and came up with a fantastic idea. I got to thinking and decided it might be fun to go and 'visit' some of my fighters. You know, stop by, say hello, have a cup of tea. Sounds great right? Then a light bulb went off, why don't I take footage of the trips and let you fans see inside the lives of some of your favorite fighters. So here I was with a brilliant idea, and unfortunately one 'small' problem. I had no video equipment. Sad I know, but that's Jim's department. Then it hit me. If I got a small camera and hid it on my clothes, not only would it be cheaper (there's a discount Spy store right down the street), but it would give everyone the chance to see the 'real' footage. Not just the acting people do when they're in front of a camera. Plus, as long as the fighters don't find out, I don't have to deal with privacy issues (which means I won't need to hire yet another lawyer). Now this letter is only going out to the fans who signed up for the mailing list, so uh…if you don't mind, keep this to yourself. If the fighters find out, they'll be pissed.

Well, I've got a meeting to get to so I'd better finish up.

I have no idea what footage I'll be able to get or how long it will be, but I'll send out whatever I get. Also, since I'm doing this on the side I have no idea when I'll be getting more, so be patient. Actually, I don't care if you're patient or not, it'll be up when it's up. So shut up and deal.

My lawyers calling me, later.

Shad


	2. House Call 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything/anyone that I use/abuse in this story.

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House Call 1

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**Knock Knock**

"Yusuke! Get the door, I'm busy!"

"I'm in the middle of a fight!"

"So pause it!"

"I can't!"

Shad rolled her eyes as she listened to the couple argue. Suddenly she heard a 'crash' followed by Yusuke's scream, and she smiled. "I am going to get some _great_ footage." She said quietly. When she heard heavy footsteps heading towards the door, she turned her evil grin into a friendly smile and waited.

"Damn humans, always arguing." A voice grumbled as the door was thrown open. "How do they expect anyone to get any work do-." The owner of said voice froze and instantly glared at Shad. "What do you want woman?" He bit out. Really, could this day get any worse.

Shad nearly choked on her tongue when Hiei opened the door. Snorting, she quickly composed herself. Well mostly, she still had a smirk on her face. "Hello Hiei, did I catch you at a bad time? Should I come back once you're finished with your chores?"

Hiei growled and narrowed his eyes. Gripping the door, he was about to slam it closed when a piece of paper was thrust in his face. "What is this?" He demanded.

"It's your contract." Shad said, grinning evilly.

Paling at the crazy look in her eyes he gulped, before reminding himself that he was a 'scary demon' and she was 'just' a human. Straightening up, Hiei crossed his arms. "So, I'm not on your show right now so there's nothing you can do."

"I never said the contract _only_ applied to the show." Shad said with a smirk. "Did I?" Seeing Hiei's eyes widen, she continued. "It states that I can stop by the fighter's house for a visit anytime, and said fighter agrees to be a willing (or at least somewhat cooperative) host. Now can I come in, or would you like to continue standing out in the open in your 'little pink apron'?"

Tearing off the offending object, and making a mental note to get his own so he could stop borrowing Keiko's, Hiei grudgingly stepped aside and allowed her to enter. "You have five minutes." He stated. "And don't expect any refreshments."

"Fine." Shad pouted. "Meanie." Following the short demon past the living room (which was currently being 'rearranged' by Keiko), they entered the kitchen and say across from each other at the small table.

"What do you want?" Hiei demanded after several moments of silence. "I tire of your presence."

"I bet you tell all the girls that." Shad said in a sweet little voice. Fluttering her eyelashes a little, she burst out laughing at the look of horror that crossed Hiei's face. "Hahaha, you should have seen you face, priceless."

Clenching his fists as he was once again made fun of, Hiei attempted to calm down. Key word there, attempted.

"But seriously, I'm not your type. Sorry." Shad said.

Gaping at the woman before him, Hiei stood up and forced his fists to his sides. "Times up, out." He said through clenched teeth. When she merely raised an eyebrow, he pointed towards the door. "NOW!"

Shrugging her shoulders, Shad stood up and headed towards the door. "Fine, fine, I'm going. Sheesh, no need to get angry. It's not my fault if you tied your bandana so tight that it's cutting off the flow of oxygen to your brain."

Hiei's steps faltered, but just as he got ready to destroy the woman, they reached the door.

"Well, it's been…_interesting_." Shad said with a slightly sinister smirk. "Later." And with a quick wave, she walked away.

"I really hate that woman." Hiei muttered as he walked back inside to finish his chores.

ooooo

I'd have to say that my first visit went rather well, wouldn't you say. I don't know what I was expecting to find, but it _definitely_ wasn't Hiei in a pink apron. Boy am I glad I sprung for the set of hidden cameras, I got such great footage. Anyways, I'm off to visit my next vict- I mean fighter. Later.

Shad

P.S. I sent Hiei a 'gift' after my visit, so here's a little bonus footage I got.

ooooo

Hiei walked over to the mailbox and pulled out the contents, absentmindedly flipping through them to see if anything was for him. Pausing as he came across a small box addressed to him, he shrugged as he tore the package open. Picking up the note that was on top, he read it.

Hiei,

Thanks for _allowing_ me to visit you, I had fun. And here is a small token of my appreciation. (Thought you might want one of your own)

Shad

Reaching through the tissue paper, Hiei pulled out the cloth object and opened it up. Staring at the black apron with red writing, his eyes narrowed and he growled. "Damn you woman!" He screamed as he tossed the object to the ground.

As Hiei stormed off the camera zoomed in on the apron which read: 'I'm too sexy for my shirt, but I just couldn't resist this apron'.


	3. House Call 2

Disclaimer: I do not own anything/anyone that I use/abuse in this story.

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House Call 2

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**Knock Knock**

Shad waited patiently outside the ship's red door as she listened to the footsteps grow closer. "Now where did I put that piece of paper?" She muttered quietly as she dug through the contents of her pockets. "I love cargo pants, but sometimes I think they have too many pockets." Her train of thought was cut off as the door to the ship finally slid open.

"Hel-." Gene froze as he stared at the woman before him. Eyes darting around quickly, he breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't see any reinforcements, but he still kept his guard up. "Um…what can I do for you?" He asked politely.

Smirking as she watched him look around nervously, Shad rolled her eyes. "Chill out, I didn't bring anyone with me so you don't have to be so fidgety." She said with a smile. "I simply dropped by to say hello, it's been awhile since I've seen Suzuka and Melfina and since I was already in the area I figured I'd stop by."

"So you're not here because of the money I owe you?" Gene asked, and seeing her shake her head, he grinned. "Well then come on in, I think Suzuka is making tea in the kitchen." Throwing his arm around Shad's shoulder, Gene led her onboard the XGP.

The pair headed down the hallway and stopped inside the cramped little kitchen, where Melfina stood at the stove cooking dinner and Suzuka sat silently sipping her tea. "Hey guys, look who came for a visit." Gene said as he plopped down on a chair.

"Oh hello." Melfina said softly. "It's nice to see you again."

Suzuka simply nodded her head in greeting.

"It's good to see you both as well." Shad said, giving the girls a smile.

Handing her a cup of tea, Gene leaned back in his chair. "So what brings you to our galaxy?" He asked.

"Oh, just a little business." Shad said with a shrug. "I needed some equipment for the show and I managed to get a great deal here."

"Yeah, you can find just about anything for a decent price around here." Gene said as he stood up to see what Melfina was cooking.

Slapping his hand away with the spoon, Melfina nodded her head in agreement. "That's true; Blue Heaven has just about everything."

Setting her half empty cup on the table, Shad stood up. "Thanks, for the tea, but I really do need to be going." She said. "It was good to see you two again." Waving at the girls, Shad waited for Gene to escort her to the door. There was no way she'd get out of there otherwise, the ship was a maze.

"Bye." Melfina said as she returned the wave, Suzuka nodding her head in farewell soon after.

"Well I'll show you the way out." Gene said as he stood up and headed out of the kitchen. When they arrived at the door, Gene once again got the feeling that something bad was going to happen, the same feeling he'd gotten when he'd opened the door. But Shad simply walked outside without a word.

Turning to face Gene, Shad held out her hand and smiled. "It was good to see you all again, we should do this more often."

Shaking her hand, Gene relaxed. "Maybe we will." He said with a genuine smile.

"Oh, and one more thing Gene." Shad said as she pulled a piece of paper from her pocket. "I ordered some things that Jim needed for the show from Fred Luo, and I gave him you as payment. Here is your contract."

Gene paled as he took the paper from her hands and read it. "This says I have to do everything Fred tells me for 24 hours." He choked out. "H-how could you do this to me?"

"It's simple." Shad said with a shrug. "You owe me money and since you've failed to make even one payment so far, I figured I'd make you work it off instead. Besides, Fred gave me a great deal when I told him he could have you. You have no idea how pricey Jim's equipment gets, this way will save me tons in the long run."

Swallowing the knot that had formed in his throat, Gene grabbed onto the railing for support. "You are evil, you know that." He said with a glare.

"Yep." Shad said with a grin. "And I love every minute of it."

"Oh, Gene!" A voice called suddenly. "Where are you my little slave?"

Eyes widening, Gene turned to run, only to barrel right into the person he was trying to avoid.

"There you are Gene." Fred said happily. "Are you ready to spend a wonderful day with me?" Crushing the unwilling outlaw to his chest, Fred smiled at Shad. "It's been a pleasure doing business with you."

"Same to you." Shad said as she turned to walk off. Then she paused and tossed Gene a smirk. "Have fun you two." With a small chuckle she walked off, listening to Gene's pitiful cries for help.


	4. House Call 3

Disclaimer: I do not own anything/anyone that I use/abuse in this story.

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House Call 3

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**Knock Knock**

"Come in!" Shad heard someone call out as she waited by the door.

"You idiot, go see who it is first." Another voice said in annoyance.

"But why Ban?" The first voice whined.

There were several moments of silence before a 'whack' was heard. "Because it could be someone who's mad at us and wants revenge, Ginji." Ban replied. "Now get off your ass and see who it is."

Suddenly a tall man with a black trench coat and hat appeared next to Shad. "Hello there Akubane." Shad greeted. "Have you come here to terrorize Ginji?"

Akubane simply smirked and waited for the door to open.

"All right, all right, I'm going." Ginji muttered as he stomped over and threw open the door. Seeing Shad, he grinned. "See Ban, it's not an enemy." He said happily. "It's Shad, and she's come to see…us." Eyes widening, he screamed. "AKUBANE!!" He cried as he ran back inside and hid behind Ban. "W-what's he d-doing h-here?"

"I simply came to give you these." Akubane said as he held up a basket of apples.

Ginji turned white as a ghost before he fell to the ground in a dead faint.

Hiding a laugh behind her hand, Shad smiled. "Well since Ginji's currently _indisposed_, I guess you'll have to do it Ban." She said, turning on the spiky haired man.

"Yeah sure, whate-…wait, what?!" Ban demanded.

"Great, I knew you'd help me out and take your partner's place." Shad said, completely ignoring his question. "Here's the uniform, and the address. Don't be late." Tossing Ban a brown paper bag, she headed to the door. "Oh, and if you so much as think about backing out, I will personally see to it that you _never_ get tired again. Is that clear?" Seeing Ban nod dumbly, she smiled. "Well I've got to get going, paperwork to do and all. Later." And with a brief wave, she was gone.

"What the hell did I just get forced into?" Ban muttered as he pulled open the bag. Blinking at the hideously colored costume, he pulled out the red rubber nose. "Oh hell no." He said, shaking his head and dropping the bag. "No way am I dressing up as a clown."

Looking up from his spot on the floor next to Ginji, Akubane raised an eyebrow. "Is it really a good idea to say things like that? The walls have ears." He asked as he moved Ginji's head to his lap. "They also have eyes." He finished with a smirk.

Ban paled and began to nervously glance around the room. "I d-din't mean it." He stuttered slightly. "See, I'm putting the costume on now."

Akubane couldn't help but laugh as he watched Ban get dressed up, all the while talking to the walls. "I must remember to thank Shad for the apples." He said quietly as he adjusted the small camera he had hidden on his jacket. "They will come in quite handy while I nurse Ginji back to health." He finished with an evil grin. "Wake up my little Lightning Emperor."

ooooo

I'm sorry about there not being a letter with the last video, but I was slightly busy. Oh, and in case you're wondering, Ban made a wonderful clown at the birthday party. The children loved him, and one of the mothers was nice enough to take a picture and send it to me. It's priceless. Oh, and last I heard Ginji was doing just fine. Though that came from Akubane, and I'm not sure what his definition of fine is. Well that's all I've got for now. Later.

Shad


	5. House Call 4

Disclaimer: I do not own anything/anyone that I use/abuse in this story.

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House Call 4

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**Knock Knock**

Shad tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for her victim…er, I mean fighter, to open the door. After several more minutes of silence, she knocked again and frowned when it produced the same response. "I know you're in there Naruto!" She shouted through the door. "Open up." When the silence remained, Shad began to get really annoyed. "If you don't let me in this instant, I'll make you fight a match against a thong wearing Rock Lee."

The door before her was suddenly thrown open and a breathless Naruto smiled widely at her. "Well why didn't you say it was you?" Naruto asked as he led her into his dingy apartment. "I was afraid you might be one of those obsessed fangirls that have been hounding us for days."

"Us?" Shad asked, raising her eyebrow curiously.

"Yeah, after Tsunade broke into his house, Sasuke decided to crash here for awhile." Naruto replied as he motioned to the dark haired shinobi that was currently passed out on the couch. Seeing Shad's look, he scratched his head sheepishly. "We have to sleep in shifts since the girls pop up at random times so he's kinda tired right now, don't mind him though he'll be out for several more hours." With a yawn, Naruto plopped down in a chair and offered the other to Shad.

"This whole yaoi fangirl thing is really getting to you two huh?" Shad asked as she leaned against the wall, the chair simply didn't look all that inviting with all those ramen stains all over it.

"You wouldn't believe these girls." Naruto replied. "They're everywhere and they never leave us alone. Sometimes they pop up out of a bush, squeal while taking a picture and then run off, and other times they'll be waiting for us at home when we get off a mission. It's crazy…and really exhausting being on guard all the time."

"That's terrible." Shad said with a forced look of sympathy. "Not to worry though, these things fade over time so you'll be fine eventually."

"That's good." Naruto said sleepily.

"Hey, why don't I go make you some tea?" Shad offered as she headed towards the small kitchen. "I'm sure it'll make you feel better."

"That sounds great." Naruto murmured as he snuggled deeper into the chair.

With a smirk, Shad disappeared into the kitchen and leaned back against the fridge. After five minutes had passed, she quietly snuck back out into the living room to see if he was asleep yet. Chuckling softly when she realized that he was, Shad headed to the front door and very gently pulled it open. "Ok you two, they're asleep. If you're really quiet I'm sure you can probably get all the photos you want."

Sakura and Ino smiled evilly and hurriedly went inside to get to work.

"Just remember." Shad whispered as she stepped outside. "I get sixty percent on any profit you make from these pictures." Seeing their nods, she smiled and headed down the stairs. Pulling out a tissue, she wiped the vicks from her nose. "Well I must say that that knockout perfume works really well. Naruto was only a few feet away and it knocked him out cold. I must remember to buy some more, I'm sure it'll come in handy."

ooooo

Yes I know, I'm mean, but what can I say, pictures of those two sell incredibly well. There are so many fans of that couple out there it's scary. Originally I only planned on going over there and teasing those two, but when I got that call from Tsunade I just couldn't refuse. Sixty percent of the profits will be enough to pay off at least one of my lawyers; they're really expensive you know. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the footage from my latest trip.

Shad


End file.
